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to be yourself

Overcome the struggle to be yourself and grow your business.

No matter how old we are, we all struggle with this.

We’re about six weeks into 2021 and I’ve already worked with 5 different companies helping them figure out how to work better together.

What still astounds me, and only because I thought I was the only one; is the fact that every time I teach my Your Brilliant Difference program I learn that so many of us deal with the struggle to be ourselves. No matter what age, education, title or level of success achieved— this is a common challenge we all experience in our lifetime.

I’m reminded by a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” How true is that?

The struggle to be yourself is real and should not be take lightly.

The quality of your life and the impact of your work rest explicitly on how comfortable you are in your own skin and how willing you are to be seen in it.

We are continually being bombarded by messages that tell us we’re not enough, we should have more of this or more of that, or if we follow these 5 steps then we’ll reach the epitome of success.

Even though many of these messages start with good intent, their impact only drives a deeper wedge between who we are and who we think we need to be.

Your are not alone in the struggle to be yourself.

Here’s what I’ve learned about what holds us back from bringing more of who we are and our Brilliant Difference to the table:

1. Our Brilliant Difference is unknown to us: Your innate gifts, the special skills, talents and that thing you’re so brilliant at comes so easily and naturally to you, you don’t even notice it and take it for granted. You’re so close to what you’re good at that it’s hard for you to see. A ‘can’t see the forest from the trees’ effect.

2. Our brain is wired with negativity bias: The human brain is wired to look at everything and anything that may pose a threat to you. It surveys your environment and picks up on any potential red flags. Whether you’re being faced by a saber-toothed tiger or you just walked into a networking event, the feeling of fear instilled is the same. Negativity bias not only scans your external environment, it also focuses on what’s wrong with you, what you don’t have, or to whom you’re not measuring up. It’s always looking for what’s wrong in order to protect you, so it distorts and limits your view of yourself as it only puts your attention on the negative.

3. Our attention is immersed in the tornado vortex: We live in a noisy, busy, distracted world. Attention is a finite resource. You’re constantly being pulled in different directions and being diverted from your agenda and goals. This tornado moves you away from your Brilliant Difference, keeping you preoccupied on social media, looking at what your competitors are doing, or organizing your inbox.

Which holds you back? One or all of them?

What now?

Even though ‘they’ are unceasingly vying for you to be who they think you should be, your biggest value and reward will come from teaching us that all we need is you.

So….

If you’re an introvert living in an extrovert world – we need you to bring your thoughtful insights and quiet power.

If you’re a creative, out of the box innovator – we need you to solve old problems in new ways.

If you’re people focused and heart centric – we need your compassion and human touch in this digital world.

If you’re ambitious and result oriented – we need your big dreams and bias to action to get us moving.

You have something invaluable to offer. Don’t let other voices, negative bias or the tornado distract you from it.

With love,

Finka

PS: Have you heard about the Sell From Love Community? Join us where we work connect and collaborate for greater success and impact. I’d love to have you part of this amazing tribe – join here.

PSS: I talk a lot about uncovering Your Brilliant Difference and the struggle to be yourself in my book: Sell From Love. Get your copy on Amazon today.

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Identify your Sales Gap

Are you selling from love or fear?
Identify your Sales Gap.

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Module 07Design a Marketing Strategy that Feels Good

The goal of this module is to make your Brilliant Difference and Most Important Thing Offer – VISIBLE.

There’s a saying, build it and they will come. We wish that it worked this way, rather fear does; because then we wouldn’t have to put our selves out there, up for judgement and rejection. Sharing your work, your services and expertise can be scary. But when we come from a place of love, as author Susan Jeffers says we “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

That is how we sell from love. We acknowledge fears presence and at the same time we take action that is aligned to our deepest desire and highest potential and possibility.

In this module we talk about the journey of making you and your offer visible to your clients and the milestones along the way, that will ultimately get you both to a place of saying YES, to working with each other.

Visibility is an option you decide on. My hope after this module is that you make a decision to be visible, in a way that feels good to you and is on the edge of your comfort zone. We need more of you, your Brilliant Difference and your work out in the world. Let’s help your ideal clients find you by showing them where you are.

In this Module you will:

Module 06Craft a Compelling Offer

The goal of this module is to clarify and confirm your most important thing – your offer.  In essence, it is what are you selling that you will use to serve your clients with and help facilitate the transformations they are seeking.

There are two important parts of the offer conversation we need to highlight here –

  • What are you offering to your clients – what are they getting?
  • What your clients are offering to you – what you are receiving for extending that offer?

Fear as a tendency to get in the way when we get to this part of the selling process.  But, not anymore, because you’re seeing that your offer is not about you, it’s about your clients and what they will get as a result of working with you.

In this Module you will:

Module 05Define Your Clients’ Transaction to Transformation Story

The goal of this module is to help you identify what is really happening when you sell. There’s the thing you are selling, and then there’s the thing your client is buying. What are the differences? And how do you not let selling from fear interfere and water down your transformation to a transaction.

At every stage of selling, fear has an opportunity to enter, this is even more prevalent when we are engaging and enrolling a client into our offers. This module is all about getting you aligned to what you are really selling – a transformation and giving you the tools to communicate that to your clients. This way you and your client are on the same page with what you are selling and what they are buying.

In this Module you will:

Module 04Discover Your Essential Client Conversation Skills

The goal of this module is to help you learn and understand how to create an environment that facilitates trust, connection, and confidence with your clients.  You play a critical role in making this happen for yourself and your clients, so fear does not get in the way of your intentions and impact.  In this module you’ll learn how to create a safe space for your clients that help them choose you as their trusted adviser.  You’ll also walk away with the most important conversation skills you need to that will help you do that.

In this Module you will:

Module 03Use Love as a Sales Strategy

The goal of this module is to help you move from your comfort zone and into your courage zone with love. Selling is filled with opportunities for fear to poke its head up inevitably holding you back from sharing your work and making the impact you know you are here to make. This is why we need to acknowledge that fear will be there, especially in times when you’re doing something you’ve never done before or reaching for goals you’ve never set out to accomplish before. This module is all about equipping you with the right tools to move forward with confidence, elegance, and ease.

In this Module you will:

Module 02Claim Your Brilliant Difference

The goal of this module is to help you discover and name your Brilliant Difference. This uniqueness you bring is here to add value and make change in the world. It’s here to make the word a better place. Focusing on who you are and finding the words to articulate your Brilliant Difference is fundamental to loving yourself, the first pillar to sell from love.
In this Module you will:

Module 01Unlock the Power of Love

The goal of this module is to increase awareness of when you are selling from love vs. fear and how embracing a new definition of selling will help you move closer to love.  Plus, you’ll learn all about how to manage the fears you face every time you market yourself and your business, make offers to sell your products and services, start on a new project or business idea.

In this Module you will: