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sell from love

Sell is not a Bad Four-Letter Word

How do you define sales?

When you think of the word ‘sales’ or ‘selling’ what comes to mind?

Does it conjure up thoughts of pushing someone to do something they don’t want to do, convincing them to buy something they don’t need, or manipulating them to get to a ‘yes’ through coercion and force.

In his book, To Sell is Human, Daniel Pink shares that 80% of the adjectives people use to describe selling are negative.

Words like “pushy, difficult, yuck, sleazy, hard, annoying and dishonest.”

No wonder it’s something we avoid and procrastinate doing.  If picking up the phone or sending out an email is going to annoy, manipulate or question our integrity with a potential client, why on earth would we subject ourselves to this kind of activity.

It’s not all doom and gloom. In Pink’s study there were five words that put the act of selling in a somewhat positive light: “necessary, challenging, fun, essential and important.”

How does something that is so necessary, essential, and important get such a bad rap?

Terms like…

ABC – always be closing,

crushing quota,

hungry and hustle,

…are key contributors and all have one thing in common.

I presuppose that the reason we have such bad feelings about the word sales and the function of selling, is because our focus has shifted to the wrong thing.

We think of selling as something we are getting, versus something we are giving.

The lens of our attention has shifted to our interests and investment, rather than on the outcomes and concerns of our clients.

I realize this sounds self-centered and it’s something we may not want to acknowledge. But there’s a fine line that’s easily stepped over because we have interest in the deal. When we focus on our products and services, our expertise and brands, our goals and targets, our top line revenues and bottom-line profits – that’s when selling feels incongruent. All this me, me, me, attention is triggering the bad, ugly, and guilty feelings about selling.

Overcome the “Ick”

There’s a simple fix.

Put your client in the spotlight of everything you do.

I remember hearing a story of how Jeff Bezos founder and CEO of Amazon, would have an empty chair in his boardroom meetings.  That empty seat represented their customer.  All their meetings had their customer present, in mind and spirit, so they never lost sight of what was most important.  We all know what’s happened to Amazon.

Because there is self interest in the sale, you need to be extra vigilant on where your attention goes and always remembering to re-direct it back towards your clients’ interest.  Is it a chair in your office? Do you need to read client stories and testimonials to re-focus? Do you need to be spending more time out there talking to real clients, instead of analyzing spreadsheets and sales forecasts?

Having a client-centric focus, takes conscious and deliberate effort.

Remember your cause is your client, and the effect is when they reward you with their business.

You are not selling to manipulate, push, or coerce. That is selling from fear.

You are selling to help your clients solve their problems, achieve their goals, align to their values, and fulfill their dreams using your products, services, and expertise, as a gateway to make this possible for them.

Selling is an act of service and when we sell from love, we never lose sight of the most important thing – our client.

Now it’s over to you.

What is your experience of selling? Where do you get stuck?

Drop me a line at to let me know.

With love,


PS: Earlier this week I shared some exciting news. I was taking a pulse to see if you’d be interested in participating in the Sell From Love Academy. This is a 7 week online course that will teach you how to get clients with confidence using the Sell From Love principles.  We’ve already had a few people register (this is so exciting!).  If you want to take advantage of the please do let me know. I’ll be sharing it more broadly next week, and I wanted you to be the first to know to take advantage of the goodies I’m including in the Founding Member package.

You can learn more about the Founding Member’s Invitation

If you’re IN! All you need out to do is email me and I will send you the registration link.

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Sell From Love Academy

For Coaches, Consultants and Advisors.

A new way to sell with ease, grace and integrity for a profitable business you and your clients will love.

Identify your Sales Gap

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Module 07Design a Marketing Strategy that Feels Good

The goal of this module is to make your Brilliant Difference and Most Important Thing Offer – VISIBLE.

There’s a saying, build it and they will come. We wish that it worked this way, rather fear does; because then we wouldn’t have to put our selves out there, up for judgement and rejection. Sharing your work, your services and expertise can be scary. But when we come from a place of love, as author Susan Jeffers says we “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

That is how we sell from love. We acknowledge fears presence and at the same time we take action that is aligned to our deepest desire and highest potential and possibility.

In this module we talk about the journey of making you and your offer visible to your clients and the milestones along the way, that will ultimately get you both to a place of saying YES, to working with each other.

Visibility is an option you decide on. My hope after this module is that you make a decision to be visible, in a way that feels good to you and is on the edge of your comfort zone. We need more of you, your Brilliant Difference and your work out in the world. Let’s help your ideal clients find you by showing them where you are.

In this Module you will:

Module 06Craft a Compelling Offer

The goal of this module is to clarify and confirm your most important thing – your offer.  In essence, it is what are you selling that you will use to serve your clients with and help facilitate the transformations they are seeking.

There are two important parts of the offer conversation we need to highlight here –

  • What are you offering to your clients – what are they getting?
  • What your clients are offering to you – what you are receiving for extending that offer?

Fear as a tendency to get in the way when we get to this part of the selling process.  But, not anymore, because you’re seeing that your offer is not about you, it’s about your clients and what they will get as a result of working with you.

In this Module you will:

Module 05Define Your Clients’ Transaction to Transformation Story

The goal of this module is to help you identify what is really happening when you sell. There’s the thing you are selling, and then there’s the thing your client is buying. What are the differences? And how do you not let selling from fear interfere and water down your transformation to a transaction.

At every stage of selling, fear has an opportunity to enter, this is even more prevalent when we are engaging and enrolling a client into our offers. This module is all about getting you aligned to what you are really selling – a transformation and giving you the tools to communicate that to your clients. This way you and your client are on the same page with what you are selling and what they are buying.

In this Module you will:

Module 04Discover Your Essential Client Conversation Skills

The goal of this module is to help you learn and understand how to create an environment that facilitates trust, connection, and confidence with your clients.  You play a critical role in making this happen for yourself and your clients, so fear does not get in the way of your intentions and impact.  In this module you’ll learn how to create a safe space for your clients that help them choose you as their trusted adviser.  You’ll also walk away with the most important conversation skills you need to that will help you do that.

In this Module you will:

Module 03Use Love as a Sales Strategy

The goal of this module is to help you move from your comfort zone and into your courage zone with love. Selling is filled with opportunities for fear to poke its head up inevitably holding you back from sharing your work and making the impact you know you are here to make. This is why we need to acknowledge that fear will be there, especially in times when you’re doing something you’ve never done before or reaching for goals you’ve never set out to accomplish before. This module is all about equipping you with the right tools to move forward with confidence, elegance, and ease.

In this Module you will:

Module 02Claim Your Brilliant Difference

The goal of this module is to help you discover and name your Brilliant Difference. This uniqueness you bring is here to add value and make change in the world. It’s here to make the word a better place. Focusing on who you are and finding the words to articulate your Brilliant Difference is fundamental to loving yourself, the first pillar to sell from love.
In this Module you will:

Module 01Unlock the Power of Love

The goal of this module is to increase awareness of when you are selling from love vs. fear and how embracing a new definition of selling will help you move closer to love.  Plus, you’ll learn all about how to manage the fears you face every time you market yourself and your business, make offers to sell your products and services, start on a new project or business idea.

In this Module you will: