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selling from fear

How I got caught selling from fear.

The Trap of Selling from Fear

My group coaching program was coming to an end and I was making plans for the summer.  I had a few corporate programs booked and the rest was dedicated to book editing and final touches for publishing.

Then Covid happened. 

It was the first week of June and we were coming out of lockdown. There was a lot fear in the system. Fear for our health and well being as we didn’t know a whole lot about the virus and it’s consequences at the time. Uncertainty about the economic impact and if there’d be any jobs or clients out there for hire. And a ton of doubt. Doubting ourselves, our governments, the CDC, as we heard conflicting messages, personal agendas and survival instinct kick in for the human race.

Looking back, I can say to myself, ‘Finka, of course you were caught selling from fear, it was impossible to avoid, you were in the midst of a pandemic’. This is what selling from love teaches us; that even if we catch ourselves in fear, that we are kind and accepting, and don’t make ourselves wrong for it.  Punishing or judging ourselves, would be a fear double-whammy – right?

The group coaching program was four-weeks away from its end, when fear leaked into my life.  Fear is like that, subtle, wanting to go unnoticed, so you don’t divert its plan.  For me it looked like this:  Instead of moving forward with the plan to complete the current program I was running and then to move forward into summer to finalize my book, I started planning another cohort for my program. 

My thoughts were running rampant. I should get another group going. I should teach another one of my courses, I should extend the current program. I should add more people. I should run a private program. I should upgrade it to a 2.0 version.

I didn’t know what was happening. I was so clear, confident, and committed to my plan and now I was flooded with frenetic energy and ideas.

I felt hurried in my thinking, rushed in my actions, and inpatient with my plan.

I noticed the voice in my head and all the ‘should-ing’ I was doing, a sheer sign of fear.  But I wasn’t yet willing to call myself out.  I rationalized that this was a good plan, put a hold on the book, run another program because what if, the well dries up and there are no more clients, because no one has the money to spend on coaching.  Can you see how understated fear pervades our thinking?  It provides a very valid and rational argument to sell from fear.

Thankfully, I was deeply connected to what selling from love promises.

We can’t avoid fear from showing up. Our power lies in acknowledging its presence and taking action aligned to love. That is how we navigate through it.

It wasn’t till my husband asked ‘What’s going on with you? You seem out of sorts. You’re not yourself.”   Sometimes it’s hard for us to see when we’re off, this is where those closest to us can be a mirror.  At first, I defended my position “What are you talking about? I’m fine, I’m just busy and focused.”  But when I walked back to my office, I knew I wasn’t being honest, with him or myself.

In my book Sell From Love, I talk about various tools to help you move from fear back to love. One of these tools is journaling.  I spent some time writing out what I was feeling, what I was thinking, and what I really wanted to do.  Have a writing practice is so helpful, because it takes what’s going on inside your mind and in your heart, out on paper, in front of you to see.

This was the moment where I finally saw.  This program, I was looking to extend, revamp and run again, was solely being motivated from fear. Fear of not having enough money, fear of the well drying up, fear of the pandemic and its economic consequences, fear of missing out if this were the only time I could sell, fear, fear and more fear.

I could have easily said “Finka, you wrote a book on how to Sell From Love, how could you be so foolish, how could you think you are equipped to teach on this when you failed yourself?”

Instead, I gave myself forgiveness, steered away from judgement and towards kindness. Again, fear is not something we can avoid, love is how we move through it.

I ended up spending my summer with my family on our farm, finishing off my book and living from  love. As a result, fall transformed to the perfect harvest. My book was published and I had the fullest bookings (virtually of course) I had ever had that fall and winter.

Selling from love, teaches us to have integrity in our selling and leadership, but more importantly by living and working towards aligning to love, we learn to trust ourselves implicitly.

Learn More Sell From Love

I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I am selling from love right now ❣️

If you want less fear and more love, less doubt and more confidence, less confusion and more clarity than you need to check out the Sell From Love Academy.

The Sell From Love Academy is a holistic program for selling and marketing your personal brand, expertise and services.

In this program you will learn how to sell with confidence, magnetically attract clients and build a business you love.

Want to learn more – check out the program here and our Founding Member special offer that will be offered one time with this program only.

If you want to rise above the noise, differentiate your work and delivering a transformation to your clients and community you need to join the Sell From Love Academy.

Now it’s over to you. What is your experience of selling? Where do you get stuck?
Drop me a line at to let me know.

With love,

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Sell From Love Academy

For Coaches, Consultants and Advisors.

A new way to sell with ease, grace and integrity for a profitable business you and your clients will love.

Identify your Sales Gap

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Identify your Sales Gap.


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Module 07Design a Marketing Strategy that Feels Good

The goal of this module is to make your Brilliant Difference and Most Important Thing Offer – VISIBLE.

There’s a saying, build it and they will come. We wish that it worked this way, rather fear does; because then we wouldn’t have to put our selves out there, up for judgement and rejection. Sharing your work, your services and expertise can be scary. But when we come from a place of love, as author Susan Jeffers says we “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

That is how we sell from love. We acknowledge fears presence and at the same time we take action that is aligned to our deepest desire and highest potential and possibility.

In this module we talk about the journey of making you and your offer visible to your clients and the milestones along the way, that will ultimately get you both to a place of saying YES, to working with each other.

Visibility is an option you decide on. My hope after this module is that you make a decision to be visible, in a way that feels good to you and is on the edge of your comfort zone. We need more of you, your Brilliant Difference and your work out in the world. Let’s help your ideal clients find you by showing them where you are.

In this Module you will:

Module 06Craft a Compelling Offer

The goal of this module is to clarify and confirm your most important thing – your offer.  In essence, it is what are you selling that you will use to serve your clients with and help facilitate the transformations they are seeking.

There are two important parts of the offer conversation we need to highlight here –

  • What are you offering to your clients – what are they getting?
  • What your clients are offering to you – what you are receiving for extending that offer?

Fear as a tendency to get in the way when we get to this part of the selling process.  But, not anymore, because you’re seeing that your offer is not about you, it’s about your clients and what they will get as a result of working with you.

In this Module you will:

Module 05Define Your Clients’ Transaction to Transformation Story

The goal of this module is to help you identify what is really happening when you sell. There’s the thing you are selling, and then there’s the thing your client is buying. What are the differences? And how do you not let selling from fear interfere and water down your transformation to a transaction.

At every stage of selling, fear has an opportunity to enter, this is even more prevalent when we are engaging and enrolling a client into our offers. This module is all about getting you aligned to what you are really selling – a transformation and giving you the tools to communicate that to your clients. This way you and your client are on the same page with what you are selling and what they are buying.

In this Module you will:

Module 04Discover Your Essential Client Conversation Skills

The goal of this module is to help you learn and understand how to create an environment that facilitates trust, connection, and confidence with your clients.  You play a critical role in making this happen for yourself and your clients, so fear does not get in the way of your intentions and impact.  In this module you’ll learn how to create a safe space for your clients that help them choose you as their trusted adviser.  You’ll also walk away with the most important conversation skills you need to that will help you do that.

In this Module you will:

Module 03Use Love as a Sales Strategy

The goal of this module is to help you move from your comfort zone and into your courage zone with love. Selling is filled with opportunities for fear to poke its head up inevitably holding you back from sharing your work and making the impact you know you are here to make. This is why we need to acknowledge that fear will be there, especially in times when you’re doing something you’ve never done before or reaching for goals you’ve never set out to accomplish before. This module is all about equipping you with the right tools to move forward with confidence, elegance, and ease.

In this Module you will:

Module 02Claim Your Brilliant Difference

The goal of this module is to help you discover and name your Brilliant Difference. This uniqueness you bring is here to add value and make change in the world. It’s here to make the word a better place. Focusing on who you are and finding the words to articulate your Brilliant Difference is fundamental to loving yourself, the first pillar to sell from love.
In this Module you will:

Module 01Unlock the Power of Love

The goal of this module is to increase awareness of when you are selling from love vs. fear and how embracing a new definition of selling will help you move closer to love.  Plus, you’ll learn all about how to manage the fears you face every time you market yourself and your business, make offers to sell your products and services, start on a new project or business idea.

In this Module you will: