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3 Ways to Increase your Sales Confidence Quotient

How to have more confidence is one of the most asked questions I get from participants in our sales training programs and workshops.  In client verbatims it often shows up like this:


“How do I sell courageously?”

“How can I speak without reservation?”

“How do I deal with feelings of rejection?”

“How can I bring my authentic self?”

“How can I close without hesitation?”


Fear of rejection, uncertainty of an outcome, and doubting if your ideas or perspectives will be well received impair your ability to be naturally confident.


Your natural state of confidence looks different than mine, and it looks different than your colleagues. The problem is we often get stuck in comparing ourselves with others, wishing and hoping that one day we could be as confident as they are. You look at those outgoing, charismatic, got the gift of the gab traits, and wonder how you could be more like that. You tell yourself if you could just figure out how to be more approachable and less restrained, then you’d definitely be more self-assured, attract more clients and opportunities.


But what if the route to confidence is not about you being more like them and instead more like you? What if, the magic confidence code was already pre-programmed in you, and all you needed to do was be yourself.  Look at any happy, successful, and fulfilled individual, and they will tell you that one of the biggest contributors to their success, was their ability to be authentic.


I believe that the quality of your life and the impact of your work rest explicitly on how comfortable you are in your own skin and how willing you are to be seen in it.  If you want unshakable confidence, relentless courage, and to have an invaluable impact, here are 3 things you can do to move forward:



  1. Discover your Brilliant Difference



Your Brilliant Difference™ is a compilation of your strengths, expertise, and experiences. It’s what makes you special, different, and it’s your unique way of adding value to your clients’ life and business and making a meaningful difference in your work.  However, most people don’t spend anytime comprehending what they bring to the table and why it matters to their employers and clients.  This is not a nice to have, or egotistical activity. Your Brilliant Difference is what will differentiate you in the marketplace, give you innate confidence, but more importantly connect your work and leadership to your life’s purpose.


In our programs we teach a 3-step process on crafting your Brilliant Difference Signature, Statement, and Story. Each of these forms giving you depth and providing you a wholistic picture not only your value, but why it’s in the best interest of your clients to choose you. 


You’re not here to sell stuff, be it a mortgage, investment solution, or consulting package. You get to use the products and services you are selling as a venue to actualize on your greatness. Expressing this greatness through your Brilliant Difference is what will not only give your work and life more meaning, but it will also help you get more clients, build stronger relationships, and grow your business. Invest the time to reap the benefits of identifying your Brilliant Difference.




  1. Tune into the right frequency


When selling a product or service you have two objectives. First, it’s to serve your client and meet their needs. Secondly, it’s to hit your sales targets and revenue goals. This reminds me of a Confucius saying, “The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither.”  When you have two or more goals, it makes things messy. You lose site of what, or rather who is most important.  Your attention is divided.


Let’s make things easier and give you one goal. The only target you have is to serve your clients and meet their needs. If and when you do that, the consequence is a sale.  The objective is not to get the sale, that is the inevitable outcome from the quality of your listening, understanding, and ability to present the best solutions available to solve your clients’ problems.  When you get that right, your clients reward you with their business, giving you a sale.


But it’s hard to remember that especially when you’re behind on your quota. One of the tools we teach in our Transformational Selling™ program is learning to turn the dial. Everyone, including you are tuned into their favorite radio station – WIIFM, also known as, ‘What’s in it for me?’  You’re so focused on what you’re going to get (a sale), that you forget the reason you’re doing it in the first place. 


Next time you find yourself worried about what people may think, nervous about a proposal presentation, or pining to close a deal, do this:


  1. Write a WIIFM list: Make a list of all that you’re getting out of the deal. Be selfish and call out everything you will get if you close this client. No one will see your list, so be honest. Write down things like, a bonus, recognition, positive accolades from your boss, feeling successful and fulfilled. It’s important that you make conscious your WIIFM list, so there’s no hidden intent or agenda. You come clean with what you will attain as a result.


  1. Write a WIIFT list: Now you’ll write a, ‘What’s in it for them?’ list. This is a list of all the things your clients will receive because they chose to work with you. They’ll have more time, more money, less stress, less costs, or peace of mind. This list reconnects you to why you’re doing this work and who it’s for. It balances out your intentions and reminds you that your products and services are here to serve your clients, not only your bottom line.



  1. Change the narrative


Several years ago, I landed an uber ideal client.  They had signed on for a three-month pilot program that they would commit to expanding to their national leadership team if it delivered intended results. It was exciting and at the same time a lot was at stake to secure this huge opportunity.


I don’t know about you, but I have an ambitious, type A, strive for excellence bend to me. These are fantastic qualities, until they get mired in fear and doubt that then contort themselves into one big competitive, tense, perfectionist knot.  The pressure to meet expectations or rather the fear of not nailing them, has me care too much about what others will think or over-stressing if the outcomes promised will be achieved.  Instead of focusing on doing the work, we worry about how the work will be perceived.


To navigate through this tangle, I have a mantra for you, “Care so much, you don’t care”.  Care so much about the work, the impact, the client, the service you are delivering, that you don’t care about what people will think of you. Repeat this over and over again, ‘I care so much (about the work), that I don’t care (what you think of me).”


You stop making your work, results, and service personal. You don’t take it as a claim of your worth, value, and identity. You grant yourself unlimited possibility and potential. You give your work the freedom and space it needs to be what it was intended to be, without the intervention of your fear-based controlling self. 


As you look at your sales goals for this coming year, choose one of these strategies to help you increase your confidence to grow your business:


  1. Discover your Brilliant Difference
  2. Tune into the right frequency
  3. Change your narrative


Now it’s over to you, which one resonates with you most? Which one are you going to implement?



If you’d like to learn more about our programs and how you can retain and grow your business, deepen client relationships, and sell with integrity visit us here or connect with Finka at:

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Sell From Love Academy

For Coaches, Consultants and Advisors.

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Identify your Sales Gap

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Module 07Design a Marketing Strategy that Feels Good

The goal of this module is to make your Brilliant Difference and Most Important Thing Offer – VISIBLE.

There’s a saying, build it and they will come. We wish that it worked this way, rather fear does; because then we wouldn’t have to put our selves out there, up for judgement and rejection. Sharing your work, your services and expertise can be scary. But when we come from a place of love, as author Susan Jeffers says we “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

That is how we sell from love. We acknowledge fears presence and at the same time we take action that is aligned to our deepest desire and highest potential and possibility.

In this module we talk about the journey of making you and your offer visible to your clients and the milestones along the way, that will ultimately get you both to a place of saying YES, to working with each other.

Visibility is an option you decide on. My hope after this module is that you make a decision to be visible, in a way that feels good to you and is on the edge of your comfort zone. We need more of you, your Brilliant Difference and your work out in the world. Let’s help your ideal clients find you by showing them where you are.

In this Module you will:

Module 06Craft a Compelling Offer

The goal of this module is to clarify and confirm your most important thing – your offer.  In essence, it is what are you selling that you will use to serve your clients with and help facilitate the transformations they are seeking.

There are two important parts of the offer conversation we need to highlight here –

  • What are you offering to your clients – what are they getting?
  • What your clients are offering to you – what you are receiving for extending that offer?

Fear as a tendency to get in the way when we get to this part of the selling process.  But, not anymore, because you’re seeing that your offer is not about you, it’s about your clients and what they will get as a result of working with you.

In this Module you will:

Module 05Define Your Clients’ Transaction to Transformation Story

The goal of this module is to help you identify what is really happening when you sell. There’s the thing you are selling, and then there’s the thing your client is buying. What are the differences? And how do you not let selling from fear interfere and water down your transformation to a transaction.

At every stage of selling, fear has an opportunity to enter, this is even more prevalent when we are engaging and enrolling a client into our offers. This module is all about getting you aligned to what you are really selling – a transformation and giving you the tools to communicate that to your clients. This way you and your client are on the same page with what you are selling and what they are buying.

In this Module you will:

Module 04Discover Your Essential Client Conversation Skills

The goal of this module is to help you learn and understand how to create an environment that facilitates trust, connection, and confidence with your clients.  You play a critical role in making this happen for yourself and your clients, so fear does not get in the way of your intentions and impact.  In this module you’ll learn how to create a safe space for your clients that help them choose you as their trusted adviser.  You’ll also walk away with the most important conversation skills you need to that will help you do that.

In this Module you will:

Module 03Use Love as a Sales Strategy

The goal of this module is to help you move from your comfort zone and into your courage zone with love. Selling is filled with opportunities for fear to poke its head up inevitably holding you back from sharing your work and making the impact you know you are here to make. This is why we need to acknowledge that fear will be there, especially in times when you’re doing something you’ve never done before or reaching for goals you’ve never set out to accomplish before. This module is all about equipping you with the right tools to move forward with confidence, elegance, and ease.

In this Module you will:

Module 02Claim Your Brilliant Difference

The goal of this module is to help you discover and name your Brilliant Difference. This uniqueness you bring is here to add value and make change in the world. It’s here to make the word a better place. Focusing on who you are and finding the words to articulate your Brilliant Difference is fundamental to loving yourself, the first pillar to sell from love.
In this Module you will:

Module 01Unlock the Power of Love

The goal of this module is to increase awareness of when you are selling from love vs. fear and how embracing a new definition of selling will help you move closer to love.  Plus, you’ll learn all about how to manage the fears you face every time you market yourself and your business, make offers to sell your products and services, start on a new project or business idea.

In this Module you will: